Taking a Quick Break from Ahsoka
And Here’s Why
Mental health.
It’s a hell of a thing.
If you’ll allow me, I’m going to be a bit vulnerable with you today.
I have lived with depression and anxiety my entire life. For as far back as I can remember, there has always been a baseline of melancholy and low level panic lurking in the shadows behind me. Peering at me from dark corners of rooms, unseen by anyone else, they were always present.
Some seasons are worse than others.
It’s a cycle.
And I’m going through a particularly difficult one at the moment.
Years in the making really. I mean, who hasn’t had a hard time since the pandemic?
These are long seasons for me. Depressive cycles have lasted years for me. And at their peak, managing gets to be a handful.
Right now, as much as I want to hustle and build and grow Path of the Jedi, grow my businesses, it’s day to day whether I have it in me to put in the effort. Heck, some days I feel like I’m barely functioning at all.
Focus has been particularly difficult and that’s something pretty new. It’s unique to this depression cycle as far as I can remember. I’ve never been one to have focus issues. In fact, I’ve historically hyper-focused, fixated even.
But now…
Doing the work for this podcast, my other show the ReDEFINE Podcast, my brand partnership business… it’s all taken monumental effort.
Tasks that I could get done in an hour now take me an entire day.
And that’s just doing the bare minimum.
But I’m figuring it out. Like in past cycles, I’m figuring out how to manage. That’s all we do, right? We figure it out.
I got an episode out this week. It wasn’t Ahsoka, but I still count it as a win.
So thank you, for being here to cheer me on.
Mental Health. It’s a hell of a thing.
Transcript: Path fo the Jedi
We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Program
[Path Media opening tone]
[Show intro: “You’re listening to Path of the Jedi with your host, Ronnie Cruz.”]
Hey guys, so I have to admit something.
I have not been doing all that well lately… Um, I’ve been having a pretty difficult time. And as a result, or maybe as an extension of that, it’s been really difficult for me to focus.
So recording these episodes have been a real challenge for me lately. Even sitting to watch and analyze Ahsoka has been difficult.
And so I regret to announce – [laughs] it sounds so serious – that I’m not going to have an Ahsoka episode for you this week, unfortunately.
I’ll do my best next week to have an episode of Ahsoka, because it’s been a great show. And actually, the episode that’s up next is a really, really good one. It’s the one where she’s in the World Between Worlds, and Anakin is finishing her training, or at least continuing her training.
So there’s definitely a lot to talk about in that particular episode.
But as I said, we will have to wait for that until next week.
Yeah, it’s just one of those things.
It’s just one of those realities that I’m facing… that I have actually continued to face throughout my life.
I am not going to go in too much detail.
And nor is this a seeking sympathy or a cry for attention.
I just want to share it with you because it’s just the reality, right?
It’s just the reality of stuff that I deal with in my life.
So if I could maybe impart anything to you for this week – since it is a personal development podcast and my goal is to share with you things that can help you on a day to day, in case you’re going through something similar, if you’re going through a difficult time, if you’re not feeling all that well…
Number one, I understand, and you’re not alone, right?
We live in a pretty crazy world right now. If you’re especially in the US., things are absolutely nuts.
So, you know, we’re being flooded with… yeah… so much stimuli that can throw anybody, any sane person, even any stable person off kilter. So even… well, especially for those of us who are a little bit more sensitive to these things, it can be just overwhelming.
It can be very, very overwhelming.
Thankfully, we have things that we can rely on, like Star Wars, right, the beauty of Star Wars.
Marvel – I just got a chance to watch the new Captain America movie over the weekend, and I had an absolutely great time!
It’s still actually sitting with me. It’s the residual after effects of the joy and the fun, and the excitement I felt coming out of that movie… is still sitting with me.
So that’s a mark of a good movie, in my opinion. It’s been four days since I’ve seen it at the theater.
So, you know, we have these things that can kind of keep us company and that can hold us and comfort us in times when we’re maybe feeling less comfort, right? Or at least less comfortable.
So there’s that, right?
Rely on these things.
Rely on the things that soothe your soul and that help calm you.
Rely on the communities.
Rely on the connections and the relationships that you have.
One of the things here at Path of the Jedi is that I really hope to continue to build a community.
If you’re not part of our Path of the Jedi Facebook, come find us on Path of the Jedi. I mean, it’s a place… it’s another place where we can connect… but you can also find me on the different socials.
Right now, I’m really focused on Threads and on Bluesky.
I just started a Bluesky this… a week ago… last week.
So, yeah, you can find me on those two platforms. Those are the two platforms that I’m most active on right now at this moment, and I’m really working to build those two platforms.
So it’s a great place to engage.
I’m very, very…
Well, I’m all about connecting on those two platforms, and I’m all about connecting with people that want to celebrate.
I mean, yeah, it’s a community that I’m trying to build, it’s a community that celebrates people, and that celebrates Star Wars, and that celebrates and finds joy in the different things that we want to celebrate, regardless of what that is… Marvel, geek culture…
It’s a thing that I think can really help counterbalance all the negativity that’s coming at us at any given moment, celebrating.
I mean, if you’ve been listening to the show for any amount of time, you know I love to celebrate, right?
I love to celebrate.
So yeah, come find me, come find me. Again, relying on these things that help kind of comfort our souls and comfort our spirits, comfort our hearts during a time when we need it is really, really important.
Another thing that I want to share with you that I think could really help if you’re going through a hard time right now, or if you’re having a hard time right now, is something that my vet told me.
Well, not my vet, my dog’s vet. [laughs] My dog’s veterinarian, my dog’s doctor, basically… our dog’s doctor.
Something that the vet shared with my sister and I last year, in December of last year. We had to say goodbye to one of our dogs.
And if you are a pet owner, or if you have pets, especially dogs, you know how difficult it can be to make that decision, if you’ve made that decision, if you’ve had to make that decision.
Our dog was 18, well, actually, just a few months away from turning 19.
And she had gotten really sick and just couldn’t bounce back. She just couldn’t bounce back.
And so, you know, we had to make that really, really tough choice, not only to just say goodbye, but when that happens, right?
Like to have to make the decision to choose when that time is for another being, right? Another creature. It’s a responsibility that I don’t take lightly. And then to have to be faced with it, you know, you’re never ready, right?
You’re never ready.
And so the doctor that helped us. Well, thankfully, he’s a mobile vet, right?
We live an hour away from the closest emergency animal hospital or even any animal hospital. So to have been able to find a mobile vet in this area, in as remote an area as we are, it’s been a real blessing.
I can share that story with you for another time.
But he sent us a message that was really kind after we said goodbye to our dog.
And he said, “Please be gentle with yourself. And please be kind to yourself.”
And so I share that with you now, right?
I share that with you now.
I know there can be a lot of pressures in life, no matter what time or season of life you’re in.
There can be a lot coming at you, a lot of things that the world tells you you need to do and you need to be doing, a lot of things that, you know, responsibilities and obligations that you have towards your family.
Even if you’re single and you’re living alone, there’s still a tremendous amount of pressure, or it can be a tremendous amount of pressure to be a functioning member of society.
And, you know, to that, I just want to share, I just want to tell you to be gentle with yourself and be kind to yourself.
You know, it’s, as I said earlier, it’s a crazy time and it’s okay to not be okay.
Actually, I talked about that in my other podcast a few weeks back. It’s okay to not be okay.
What’s not okay is to continue to force yourself to, I don’t know, to ignore the experience that you’re going through, right? To kind of stuff it all down and push it all away and push it aside so that you can prioritize all these other things that the world is telling you to prioritize.
And that you can do for a time, but it isn’t necessarily the healthiest thing for you in the long term. And in fact, it’s not going to really help you get through the thing that you’re going through.
I understand, again, there are obligations that we need to handle and we need to take care of, but you also need to take care of yourself.
That’s, I think, the point I wanted to get to.
You need to take care of yourself.
And the first step to doing that is to be gentle with yourself and to be kind to yourself, right?
For me, the pressure is of having to deliver these episodes on time, to deliver content that is worth your time to consume and worth your time to keep coming back to, content that is of value and that can help you in your day-to-day.
It’s daunting and it is a lot of pressure. And I can easily put so much pressure on myself to have to deliver every week.
And I do, don’t get me wrong. I do, I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I also recognize that if I don’t allow myself a little bit of grace, then what can happen is I can end up just shelving the show again like I did before.
I shelved the show for almost two years.
And I don’t want to do that.
So I want to show up here, and having a real conversation with you, a very transparent conversation.
Not that my past episodes haven’t been real conversations, but I want to have this transparent conversation with you just to let you know what’s going on with me, and just to give you an inkling or an idea, at least, of, yeah… yeah… the headspace… the headspace.
I’ll be okay.
I’ll be okay.
Again, I don’t want this to seem like it’s a cry for help or that I’m seeking attention.
I’ve actually developed and integrated some tools and some practices into my life over the years that help me get through times like this.
Because, you know, it’s a phase. And the thing is, I’m old enough to know that, to have experienced that it does cycle, it does cycle through, and I’m just going through one of those cycles.
The main thing is, I just wanted to be transparent with you, as transparent as possible, you know, without oversharing, you know, I didn’t want to just leave you hanging, or give you a subpar analysis of Ahsoka, especially Ahsoka part 5, which is an incredible episode.
This is the episode where she’s in the world between worlds, and Anakin is continuing her training.
So it’s an incredible episode, and there’s so much to talk about.
And I didn’t want to do a disservice, because if I did, I would be doing you a disservice as well.
So this is the episode that we’re going to leave with this week.
We’ll pick it up.
We’ll pick it up again next week with Ahsoka Part 5.
And so, you know, I appreciate your time.
I appreciate your understanding.
And again, reach out and connect with me on the socials, especially Threads and Bluesky.
I’ll leave the link of both of those in the show notes of this episode.
And yeah, let’s just have a conversation. I’m happy to do it.
And if that conversation is simply sharing how much we love Star Wars, and sharing how much we love Marvel, and everything else in the geek world and geek culture, I’m happy to do it.
I’m happy to do it.
It brightens up my day.
And if it can brighten up your day, I would love to be a part of that.
Let’s connect, let’s celebrate the things that we love.
And other than that, I will see you next week.
So until then, be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. And may the force be with you.
For light and life.